I write the words on paper that only you can give me.

I am sorry that you had to leave.

I am sorry you left this earth in so much pain.

I am sorry that your eyes witnessed war and strife.

I am sorry that the Green Zone was really not a safe haven.

I am sorry scud missiles made you run for your life.

I am sorry that blood filled the Tigris River.

I am sorry that there was no solace in Baghdad.

I am sorry that you lost your fellow comrades, who were blown

to nothing that day in the barrack’s gym.

I am sorry that your Iraqi interpreters will never be seen again, in a war they never wanted.

I am sorry that when you came home and you had to attend funerals of your comrades who took their lives.

Because the pain of war was too much to fathom…

I am sorry that PTSD was your new normal.

And that nobody really understood–

I am sorry your life became so full of sorrow.

I am sorry it was so unbearable that leaving us was the only way to stop this madness.

I am eternally grateful that you protected my sister.

I am eternally grateful that you defended this nation.

I am eternally grateful that you served with honor, distinction and

bravery.

I will count you, my dear amongst the five-pointed golden stars in the beautiful night sky.

© Mary Anne Abdo

Taken from my book Fractured Lollipop Poems of Brokenness Healing and Hope. For anyone who is suffering from PTSD please know there is healing and there is hope. Veterans Crisis Line Dial 988 then press one or test 838255. The Veterans Crisis Line connects Service members and veterans in crisis with a trained responder, 24 hours a day 7 days a week.