On New Year’s Day my cousin Bill circulated on his Facebook page, an idea to write down on post it notes the things you would like to accomplish for 2022.  So with pen, green post notes and a glass mason jar in hand, I wrote my heart out.  Hoping that I would accomplish some of these green posts it note wishes and turn them into reality.  Time rushes by from one season to the next, always glimpsing every morning at that glass jar filled with my hidden desires.  Sometimes tempting fate to read some of these notes to myself, but always remembering that it would be cheating. It has been a very trying three weeks; I needed to see some glimmers of hope. So this past Tuesday night on the eve of the Winter Solstice, I poured out that glass jar of what ifs on to my bedroom floor.  I was pleasantly surprised that out of 25 intentions, I had accomplished 15, which is not a bad ratio.   The biggest one for me is always to try to be a better person than I was last year.  This has been my New Year’s resolution for many years now, since I would always falter by January 20^th of any given year of trying to lose apart of myself.

Have I learned many lessons this year?  More than I can every count. Taking that leap of faith of being a published poet. Something that was not even in my glass jar and let alone stand before an audience, reading my work in vulnerable spaces. Hoping not to hear that deafening silence of a lousy performance. Starting my own Word Press site and to include photography as part of my gig.

The biggest lesson this year is trying to be in the shoes of my aging loved ones. What is it like in their uncomfortable skin? A skin that once was vital, strong and unwavering.  I can’t even imagine, until it is my time to feel that angst, about a body that refuses to be your own anymore.  All we can do, as a family is to have more patience, roll past their anger and let them know they are so very loved.

© Mary Anne Abdo